Bedtime routine: Version A (note to executor, proceed quickly and carefully to avoid defaulting to Version D which invariably involves thoughts of self-injury)

Sukie (2):  I weally, actually, Mama, am not tiyewed.

Me:  I think you are.

Sukie:  No, weally, Mama, I am not TIYEWED.

Me:  Well, it is night time and everyone is sleeping.

Sukie:  Are the tuwkeys sthleeping? I thaw the tuwkeys cwossing the road. They were tho cute. There were three yittle tuwkeys and a big Mama tuwkey. They are not sthleeping, Mama. They are not.

Me: Yes, the turkeys are sleeping.

Dean (stepping in to the room):  Hey, Sukie? Mrs. Gobble, the turkey mom? She just called to ask if you would stop crying because the babies are having a hard time sleeping.

Sukie:  But it ith not night-time. The tuwkeys can still pway a yittle bit.

Dean:  No, Mrs. Gobble was very clear. She is in the backyard and she can hear you. She says that the turkeys will not be jumping on the trampoline with you tomorrow if you keep crying.

Sukie:  Dey will jump on the twampoline with me? No, you are being thilly Daddy.

Me:  OK, Dean, thanks so much for that. Sukie, the birds are going to sleep though, so you have to get in your nest.

Sukie:  Oh, yeah! You will be the momma biwd and you will go and get me sthome woawms to eat in the mowning? You will bring them in your beak and put them into my beak and go tweet tweet and be kithing me becauthe I am your little baby biwd?

Me:  Absolutely.

Sukie (grunting with pleasure):  OK, Mama biwd, tweet tweet!