Friday, February 15, 2013

Valentine's Day: Love is Doing And Not

Dear girls,

Something I have been thinking about recently (in addition to how to get away with the perfect icicicle murder):

NEVER purposefully inflict pain on another person, especially someone you've said you love. This encompasses a lot of things, girls. First of all, no pinching. Second, no tripping. Third, no hitting, biting,  growling at one another, dirty looks, throwing things or taking another person's helping of strawberries. Life will give you lots and lots of pain all on its own. People you would give all your worldly possessions to heal will die, your cat will have to be buried in the backyard, your health will fail, your friends will move, you might never get to have children even when you desperately want them. Don't add to the misery. If you've vowed to love and cherish someone until death parts you, don't ever be the one who breaks their word. It's you and he against the world.  If God gives you a child to love and train, tell them what a privilege it is and mean it. If you have a sister, or are lucky enough to have two, don't speak ugly words that can't ever be erased. If God gives you a husband, make your compliments outweigh your criticisms. If you're a friend, hold hands and pray.

Girls, never ever be a highlighter to the ugly stuff in the world. Don't make it bigger and brighter by your behavior. Your job, when you love someone, is to make pain and hurt in the world fade. It's still there, but you are like a chalkboard eraser, smudging things up so that even though you can still read the words, it's a little bit harder to see them.

Be the first person in the corner for your sister, the first to tell her the world is crazy it's definitely not her, the first one to dismiss one act as not the whole story for the friend you know and love, forgive the unkind word because of thousands and thousands of good ones that your husband has spoken to you.

Cherish the love. Don't escalate the ugliness. God has blessed you abundantly with people who love you. Love them back. Don't make things harder for them. Life WILL do that, IS DOING THAT and will continue to do it and we don't know WHEN. So throw away these disputes, throw them back onto the ugly world they belong, and be the one who is smudging out the hurt.

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