Friday, December 25, 2009

Comfort for me, a mom of four

The Christmas story has always been wonderful. The news that the Son of God, creator and sustainer of all things, able to speak the heavens and earth into existence by a word, took on the frail, fragile cloak of humanity as a newborn baby is so awesome, so utterly selfless and incomprehensible to our human minds we can't help but marvel and wonder.

But since I have become a parent, the nuances of the story have become even more poignant. I felt something in common with Mary, pondering and treasuring things in her heart. I pondered and treasured as I grew my own babies, the world receding to the background as the stirrings and rumblings reminded me like a delicious secret Morse code that a real human life was emerging. To imagine that you were carrying not fallible human life, bound to disobey and disappoint, but the true God incarnate, Word made flesh, the Ancient of Days. It boggles the mind.

But this year, I found new wonder in the Christmas story.

After the angel Gabriel came to Mary, it says in Luke that Mary went a few days later to visit her cousin Elizabeth, pregnant already with John the Baptist. When Mary arrived, the baby leapt for joy in Elizabeth's womb, recognizing the "mother of my Lord."

It never occurred to me that Mary was merely days pregnant when the baby leapt in Elizabeth's womb, recognizing he was in the presence of the Lord. An embryo only, not even, just a cluster of cells not even implanted in Mary's uterus by then, but the Lord nonetheless. Do you understand what this means? A pre-embryo, but the Great I AM.

I lost a baby this week, an embryo only, in biological terms not much, but in God's eyes and ours a real person, a real life, a real baby, a real grief. I knew this, but the Christmas story reminded me.

7 comments:

leedekam said...

Sask, I am so sorry. Just like last time, I will whisper your name to remind Jesus to bring you comfort. Not that He needs me to remind him, but just know that I intercede on your behalf. Love you guys~

Jan said...

In case my phone message was unintelligible, I am so sorry. I've been praying for you all day and will continue to.

La M said...

Thinking of you - Lara

Pam said...

I'm so sorry.

Tracy said...

I'm so sorry, Saskia. I will be praying for you.

hmell75 said...

I've been trying to think of something to say that might bring you comfort, Saskia, but all I can come up with is that I'm so very sorry for your loss. Hug your beautiful girls close and know that you are loved.

dr said...

I am very sorry, Saskia. You are in my thoughts.